WHY ACHIEVING BIG GOALS IS THE WORST THING TO HAPPEN TO MOST PEOPLE
ASYA RUSTAMLI
Nowadays everyone is looking for a magic formula to achieve difficult goals. People often put their goals on the responsibility of others, believing in quick-result promises, and thus they either never achieve the desired result, or even if they achieve it, they cannot make it sustainable.
Although it seems scary and doubtful to people to set difficult goals, in fact, when they use the motto "if it's difficult, then it's possible", the first part of the issue gets easily solved. When this formula is also loaded with strategies and directions raising difficult goals to a level that can be reached with pleasure, then man can easily notice opportunities and begin to take necessary steps towards his goals. But what important nuances do we need to know in order to properly formulate difficult goals and achieve them without suffering?
The first secret to properly formulate difficult goals is not to make big plans to impress others. People often set goals to create a "wow effect" in society. When a person sets intentions outside of his inner impulse, he never finds energy and motivation to realize those goals. As a result, a person gets forced to tire himself much more than the norm. That's why people often get unmotivated for a long time after achieving a big goal or lose the meaning of life.
The main question that every person with great ambitions should ask himself: "If I already have the goal I want to achieve, will it give me real energy, or is it just for impressing others to not feel inferior in society?"
Another important nuance is related to whether or not a person sets goals from his own place. Although the concept of a person having his own place sounds simple at first, it is not an easy thing to understand when you go deeper. For example, many people intent to create good conditions for their parents, but looking at their lives, they have not yet been able to create these conditions for themselves. Here we can already see that a person takes on the role of a parent for his parents and wants to save them. As grand and proud this goal may sound, the process of achieving the goals set from different roles becomes more difficult and tiring. Therefore, every time we choose the role of rescuer or change our role in thehierarchy, it becomes difficult to achieve the goals we set. If a person does not understand his place and value in different contexts, how can he adequately move towards his goals?
Big goals need big support. And no, this support is not a gift offered by someone. People who choose to live in a position of victim, think that the world needs to see him and help him without asking. However, support means knowing your needs and organizing help to ease the process. It is assembling a team by adequate planning towards the goal. Many people do not understand their place even when building a team: there are many people who mother their team members or who are never able to fully trust the team. And this, of course, is exhausting for a person - at the end of the day, even if the goal is achieved, man does not feel happy and resourceful at all.
It is good to notice that some people have more energy to achieve huge goals, but do they do it in high frequency emotions? For example, being conflicted with feelings of shame and guilt, man can never sets goals from the position of “I CAN”. Because, he tries to prove the society and himself that he can. However, without self-love and acceptence, the concept of reaching big goals is not prideful at all.
Sometimes achieving goals may seem as running an endless race, that is why, being grateful and prideful of where you are now should be the first and most important goal. The main key to success is celebrating your achievements and fixating on them. Only the person who is aware of himself and his true desires, can take prideful and joyful steps towards his biggest goals.